Santa … where are you ?

Dont forget to put out milk & cookies for Santa!!!

Dear Otter,

We had no idea about all this business with Mr. Santa – we think Mum might be guilty of the sin of ommission by not sharing this information with us. We are rigging up our chimney with a safety net and I am ordering a Taser gun so when Santa arrives we can keep him at our house while we give him our extended list of wants and desires. If he hits your house first (not literally, of course), please send him directly to Oregon (United States of America) and our house. Of course we are not exactly sure what Santa gives to dogs – would a hot tub be too big to deliver in his sack?

Love, Dozer, Dottie and Cooper

Santa is a slick one, I have never seen him no matter I had tried to stay awake… at the end I always fall asleep, so good luck in meeting him! I’m sure coffee will help you to stay awake on Xmas night
😛

Dear Otter,

I’m so glad that Otter Keeper told you about Santa – he is my FAVORITE person ever (next to my husband). I have decorated my house in anticipation of his visit (this seems silly, since he’s only here for about two seconds, I think, in his hurry to visit every house… and isn’t like to visit, say, my guest room). I have tinsel and ornaments and glitter and shiny stuff everywhere. If you visited me, you could leave otter footprints in red and green glitter all over the house for a nice festive touch.

Santa leaves presents in stockings here in America, so we have stockings pinned to the fireplace mantel with our names on them (we have two fireplaces, so I hope he makes the right turn in the chimney). With no jobs, it’s going to be a bit of a sparse year, but that doesn’t mean he won’t come. And I know he’ll visit you – Santa LOVES river otters.

I have to say, though, in my experience, he always knows EXACTLY when you’re asleep and sneaks in right at that time to eat that nice pie you’ve left him. And he doesn’t wake you up because he’s on a very tight schedule – he only has time to drop your gifts, eat a bit of pie and give you a quick kiss you don’t even feel. You may as well snooze so you’re rested enough to enjoy your gifts.

Maybe Otter Keeper will take you to Harrod’s so you can look in the windows or, if your excitement is CONTROLLED, you’ll get to see their food displays. I remember them at Easter a few years ago. Yum yum. I bet London is lovely at Christmas. A very Happy Christmas to you and Otter Keeper, Sam (and Becca), and, because of the season, maybe even to Kate!

XO XO Jimmy Lee B., the Plush American River Otters (PARO)(and of course, Rick too)

Hi Otter,

Only two days till Santa will come : it’s so exciting but also so tiring because I can hardly sleep. I’m asking myself so many questions and Keeper generally doesn’t answer. She’s too busy and I don’t know what she’s doing in fact. She goes to work but she comes home later than usual without explaining why and she has many bags. I asked her once whether Santa has storage at home but she just laughed, kissing my nose… I’m not sure but she may be an elf. I tried to open the case where she put the bags but I couldn’t : it was locked and I just pinched my paws with the door. So I must wait till Christmas to know whether she is an elf.
Since, I investigate and reflect about strategy : I fear so much Santa couldn’t find the way to our flat. The major problem indeed is that we have no chimney – you imagine that ! Keeper says our house is too recent to have one. I can’t understand that one can build houses without chimneys when you know you need them at least once a year. I said to Keeper we MUST move immediately but she answered Santa would find his way to us and put the gifts on my blanket if I’ll be nice. If not, he’d just bring charcoal. Hum !!! I don’t know what it means to be nice. I’m always nice, especially while waiting for Santa : I try to be very helpful for example when I propose to put Keeper’s bags into the case.
I asked Keeper how Santa would enter since we have no chimney. She smiled mysteriously but she got a bit angry as she discovered I put all her post-its in the staircase with my paw imprints to show Santa where he has to go and, since she said he’d land with his sleigh on the roof of the house, I even stuck post-its in the lift although I fear it : the doors shut so quickly making great noise that I fear they could cut off my tail. I took the fluorescent booklet because Santa is supposed to come when it’s dark. Keeper put the post-its off, saying Santa wouldn’t need them but in the night of 24th I’ll put them back from the waste bin. I don’t trust her and I’ll put a post-it on the entrance door of the house next to our bell so, if he’s not stupid, he’d ring. I MUST see him to show him our plans for the space rocket: when I’d see him face to face, I’d be sure he isn’t an impostor. I can’t wait to meet him: I have so many things to ask him about what he’s doing during the rest of the year and why he’s still using chimneys to bring our gifts although some people don’t have any, whether he isn’t thinking he has to modernise and beam gifts from an intergalactical space ship (Keeper says I play too much with computer games and Santa wouldn’t change because he lives on a star where is always Christmas time and where nobody lives but him).
He must feel very lonely the whole year. That’s probably why he clones himself. That’s the only answer I found to explain there are so many Santas everywhere before Christmas, on TV and in the streets. I discovered some climbing on a shopping window. So I began to have an idea how Santa comes from the roof top : he has a rope with knots and he puts the gifts on his back (pic 1). I also saw another one climbing from a gutter with a ladder onto the balcony of a first floor : he had lots of toys and a BALL on his bag (pic 2). I was puzzled because he was in advance. There are still two windows left on my Christmas calendar. Keeper said that he’s just looking where people put their shoes to work more quickly the 24th. In France, we put shoes in front of the chimney and Keeper allowed me to take her boots so that Santa would have enough space to put his gifts into them. I worked out that I’d place one boot outside facing the door of our flat and another one on the balcony. So which way he may ever take, I’m sure he couldn’t fail one of my boots.
However, you’re right to watch the chimney : he may inspect it before to be sure the chimney is large enough for all the presents he projects to bring. I’m a bit worried though because, with so many Santas, it’s very difficult to guess who is a clone and who is just an impostor. Maybe Kate could disguise as Santa or she could be his wife !!!!. I’m bothered a lot indeed by what I saw today in front of a shop for houseware : there was a Santa bonnet with white braids. I’m sure it’s Kate’s and she just put it off to go into the shop and buy otter-traps (pic 3). Keeper shrugged when I told her and said that I’m parano… (I don’t know what) and that me and you we’re just obsessed with Kate. She accepted to take some pictures though because I convinced her she must help me tracking Santa. Maybe you can take a picture of him with your camera : if you’ll use your binoculars, you’ll have a chance to see him earlier and to make a snapshot. I’m sure you could earn your first money as a professional !
There is one thing I’m bothered about too : if you’ll burn some logs in the chimney to heat your flat, what will happen to Santa. He may burn his beard or have a cold when he must move so often from heated places to the cold weather outside ? I didn’t know wooden logs exist because the only logs I already tasted were Yule cream logs people eat at Christmas time here (what’s the taste of roasted wood, tell me !) and what’s great, they have special little logs for otters and bigger ones for Keepers and the best is, they have logs made out of coffee cream : ranges of them (pic 4) ! If you’d be here, we’d make a competition who eats the most of them or who eats them faster. Keeper is writing so I can’t hinder her to make comments : she says I’m really silly and she fears I’m not a real French otter appreciating food for its taste.) Maybe ! But coffee cream logs are just great and so exciting. I must eat a lot not to feel asleep waiting for Santa. Keeper prefers chocolate taste but I’ll bet chocolate logs are more difficult to digest. So I’ll still be spotting Santa while she’d snore. But Keeper says Santa will come only if I’ll sleep : What will you do finally during the night to 25th ? Will you try not to sleep or better sleep ?

Many many creamkisses from Louloute and Lots of Love from Keeper

Pictures will be sent separately.