No.2 The Toaster (9.5 out of 10)

I Love the toaster, it got 9.5 out of 10, and for a very good reason. One evening not so long ago, Otter Keeper said I was allowed to cook him dinner using the toaster! This was brilliant fun but the most important thing of all was he said it was the “best toast he had ever had!” It was at this point that I realised I had a real talent for cooking toast.

the toaster

Nowadays whenever it’s time to have toast I get to be in charge of the toaster and press the button at exactly the right time (Teddy helps too as he’s the sous chef). We’ve got really good at making toast and it’s great to be really good at something. Me and Teddy take our position very seriously and are very careful to not let standards slip.

Otter Keeper says we are so good at making toast that we should open a special restaurant where we just serve toast (and I’m 98.3% sure he’s serious!). He says “people will come for miles around to have our toast”. This is a great thought but I think Otter Keeper may be getting a bit too excited and I don’t want him to be disappointed. A mile is a very long way after all. We once walked a whole mile and I got very tired.

Anyway, tomorrow will be my number one favourite household object of the week. This is really exciting, almost as exciting as the fact that it’s my Otter birthday in 2 and a half days now! …I must go …. Me and Teddy need to go and be….. really REALLY excited!

If you want to leave me a comment (and please do because otters love comments – Keeper reads them to me and it makes me happy) about this story please go here:



  1. Vale November 11, 2010 at 6:43 am

    My dear Otter I would do 10 miles to eat one of your toast!!!!
    I swear!!!

  2. Helen November 11, 2010 at 7:52 am

    I would fly across the Atlantic to have toast with you, Otter. I can’t wait to see what Number 1 is.

  3. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Liz Melby, i_am_otter and Grace St. Clair, Andree, Curator. Andree, Curator said: RT @i_am_otter: and in at number2 we have THE TOASTER!!! (new OTter StorY!) […]

  4. Grace November 11, 2010 at 8:59 am

    You must come to my house and teach me how to make toast – mine never comes out perfectly…must be something about pressing the button just right.

  5. Alix November 11, 2010 at 9:51 am

    Now good toast is very rare indeed. Could you maybe do an online tutorial for making good toast – I could certainly use some lessons.

  6. Madame Riverotter November 11, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    If I could fly across the Pond, I would **definitely** stop in for Toast and Tea! And I would bring one of my special chocolate cakes my Otters love just for your Birthday! I think I shall have to put it in the Post and hope it gets there.
    Be careful leaning on the Toaster though. It gets VERY HOT when it cooks and I wouldn’t want to see you burned! Teddy wouldn’t want to see you with bandaged paws and it would make Otter Keeper feel very bad.
    Love — Otter Mum

  7. bev otter November 11, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    I love toast – with butter and Marmite on it. XX

  8. Jack the Cat November 11, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    I would fly over the ocean just to get some of your famous toast..I like mine with grape or raspberry jelly ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. thepetmuseum November 11, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    Good toast is a very special thing…I wish you WOULD open up a toast cafe.

  10. Nikki November 11, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    I would give you my indoor trampoline for toast!

  11. Louloute November 11, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    Hi Otter,

    Our toaster doesn’t look like yours because we don’t use only sliced bread for toasting : you’re very lucky to use fresh bread for toasts because most of the time keeper only uses the toaster when there is some remaining baguette bread from dinner and she hasn’t enough time to buy fresh bread or croissants in the morning or when she is just too lazy to go to the baker in the morning. It happens more often in autumn and winter like now because she doesn’t like to go outside when its still dark and rainy. I complain but I can understand her : even an otter wouldn’t get out when there is such bad weather. So we eat toasted baguette (I accept when she spreads butter on it and then a slice of salmon ! Otherwise I open a sardine can with my teeth whilst keeper eats her cereals : sardines with coffee that’s not the best taste and keeper generally sends me to the bathroom or to the balcony but this is my way to prostest against bad treatments. When I say this keeper must generally laugh quite loudly and I decide to be vexed.) But let’s come back to the toaster : you already understood that I don’t like the toaster so much and it wouldn’t be even in my top ten because it’s not inspiring for my elaborated cuisine. I must confess though that instead of you I haven’t the privilege to cook for keeper and she disdains my elaborated cuisine because she doesnt’t know what’s good for her and she’s very sensible when I go into the kitchen. I have some griefs against the toaster : I already told that our toaster looks a bit different from yours because we can use baguette. This means thats the slots for the bread are much longer and larger and the toaster is in fact very greedy (keeper just didn’t know and toaster wasn’t fair : it’s a liar and it eats my toys but keeper defends it everytime !). At first I thought it was my friend and I really apreciated that it had those wonderful deep slots so that I gave it some of my treasuries I’d like to save : for instance little pebbles, coffee beans, and even one of my bouncing balls. As we don’t use the toaster every day, he hadn’t the occasion to reveal a traitor but the day keeper decided to use it and she got mad as the toaster began to smell very badly through the slots and she looked into them : in fact the most urgent problem was the ball which began to melt and to stink. I didn’t know a ball could stink like this ! Aggghhh ! and I got very cross with the toaster : How could it ? but keeper didn’t get angry with him. She got upset against me and told me I’d have to give my pocket money to buy a new toaster since it isn’t a proper place for hiding otter things. I answered I didn’t permit the toaster to eat my ball he was supposed to keep safe. She said that I was not a clever otter but a stupid one this time and she explained me that rubber and plastic melts when heated. Hm! Now I know and I don’t hide anything in our new toaster because it isn’t reliable and heat isn’t good for bouncing balls. Toasters are more aggressive than laptops so it’s also prohibited to lay down on its slots or put TT into it since sometimes he misses its cavern. The only advantage with the toaster is that it heats the toast and when you spread butter on it, it melts and I love melted butter with jam, nutella or with salmon (that’s the best!): sometimes I mix all three when keeper doesn’t watch or I lick the melted butter and put the bread back into the toaster for a second time. It’s a bit burnt but it doesn’t matter because I just like the butter. I think sometimes keeper prefers to go and buy fres baguette and croissants to avoid me spilling melted butter everywhere on the kitchen table: she doesn’t like to see it run down along my whiskers and she yells when I approach my snout to her face. I really can’t understand her : it’s such a pleasant feeling to catch the butter drops with the tongue when they drop down from the whiskers !
    Keepers generally haven’t the same tastes as we have so you’re quite lucky to make toasts in a way he loves them as much as you : so you must give me your recipe. Perhaps I can content mine too or better mail me an invitation when you open your toast restaurant. Perhaps we can even open a chain of breafast restaurants for otters with keepers : Mac Toasty Otter and there will be a lot of toast menues and many bouncing balls and bowls to win or to collect !

    I can’t wait to know what will be number one. I’m puzzled though : your birthday is only on Sunday. Will we have a keeperstory on Saturday ?

    However, till tomorrow !

    Second cook and recipe inventor
    Mc Toasty Otter, Paris

  12. Maria November 11, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    mmmm toast made by you otter, it has to be such a delicious treat!!!

  13. MsDarkstar November 11, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    If you don’t open a toastery (which is what I would imagine a toast restaurant would be called), I think you should travel around and teach people on proper toast making technique. It would never, of course, be as good as fresh, otter-made toast, but I know I sure could use some toast technique training!

  14. Clare November 12, 2010 at 1:36 am

    Ooooh I love toast – I hope you do open your Toast Resturant โ˜บ

  15. Rebecca Kohn September 28, 2016 at 1:14 am

    Dear Otter,

    If you and Otterkeeper would sell that lovely instruction sheet on the perfect shade of toast as a poster in your shop, I would buy multiple copies. Can you believe there are people in this world that claim to like toast that has been burned to charcoal, and insist on serving it to you? Your poster indicating the ideal shade of light brown would be very helpful and possible save many relationships.

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