The other day we had some fantastic news! Otter Keeper is going over to America to launch our new book! He’s going to do a book signing at a very important bookshop in New York, and then he’s traveling around schools in 5 different cities, telling kids all about me.
There is only one huge problem with this great news, which Teddy and I only discovered after we had packed all our important things for the trip. The problem: Otter Keeper says we can’t come!
Yes, you did hear correctly. Me and Teddy are to ‘stay and look after the house’. This is extremely silly for many obvious reasons. Firstly, it is quite likely that, left to his own devices, Teddy will make a huge mess around the house. And secondly, it’s just really, REALLY unfair! I don’t believe Otter Keeper when he says that looking after the house is an important job — it’s not and he knows it!
Teddy and I have tried hiding Otter Keeper’s slippers, making protest signs, and even going to America before him (this didn’t work, but we did stand by the front door and look very serious). It appears nothing will work. We are considering our options, but have to be careful. Otter Keeper did mention a ‘babysitter’, and I don’t want him to do anything silly.
If you did want to see Otter Keeper (I can’t see why anyone would want to meet him, because he’s so mean) he will be at Books Of Wonder in NYC at 2PM on Sunday, April 27th. If you do go, please feel free to send me pictures of you throwing things at him and telling him off for not bringing me.
Finally, if I can’t get him to change his mind, I wanted to let everyone know that Teddy and I will be having a huge party at our house. We’re still working out the details, but basically we’d like everyone to come round, make a mess, and spill juice on the carpet. I’m also going do lots of crayon practice so I can sign books myself. Please contact me or Teddy if you are interested.
It’s my Otter Mad daughter’s birthday on 28th so we’d love to come and help you make a mess! When will your book be available in the UK? Can’t wait for a copy 🙂
YAY! That will make 4 of us! Bring lots of juice to spill (Teddy and I find darker Blackcurrant variates work best for optimum staining). The book won’t be available in the UK for now… Otter Keeper is still looking for a publisher here 🙁
A party sounds perfect…….we are on our way. Put some toast on I’m starving xx
I think red wine will make a better stain but it would be a shame to spill it xx
Ooooh a party, I’m very sorry to hear about you being left behind. Most unfair. I am good with crayons and making a mess and can bring party ring biscuits, it’s not a party without them.
Its ok Otter – Ive just posted up that there’s going to be a rave party at Otter keepers house on every social media website I could find – I think its gone viral!!
That’ll teach him to leave you and Teddy at home!
Although I live in New York and could very easily see Otter Keeper on April 27 at Books of Wonder, I am coming to your house instead. I’m bringing crayons. And bread for toast (I love toast!) Also, I think we need cranberry juice. LOTS of cranberry juice.
Unacceptable is certainly the right word for it! Clearly, the only acceptable compromise is for you and Teddy to come anyway. I’m sure that Otter Keeper thinks that he needs to dress up to impress his publishers and such, but he couldn’t be more wrong- publication houses are much more relaxed on this side of the pond, especially in New York. I bet that if you do a little re-packing for him, there will be room for you and Teddy in the space that his suit, dress shoes and shirts (that he obviously won’t need) would have taken up. Probably not enough room for Giraffe, though. Well, maybe there would be, if you leave his socks and underwear, too. Just be sure to remember to poke some breathing holes.
A wise choice, Janet! Otter Keeper is not all that great anyway :). Also, Teddy wanted to add that he thinks Cranberry juice could work well!
That’s a great idea! Although technically we can’t trust you, on account of the fact that you are Otter Keepers Dad.
Unacceptable hardly describes this injustice. (I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a protest line outside Books of Wonder on April 27.)
Since you’re throwing a party anyway, have you considered letting your guests stay past Otter Keeper’s return? You may need help convincing him about the cleanup. Otter Keeper sounds outrageous enough to think you and Teddy should do it.
That could be a good idea, Adrienne. Otter Keeper has been making such silly decisions lately, I wouldn’t put it past him to expect Teddy and I to do the clearing up. And that would defeat the point. I’ll jot this down in my party planning notebook.
Wow, Otter! What a fabulous time to show Otter Keeper how responsible you can be! After all, you WILL be a star, you know.
But … on the other hand, a star should at least visit New York.
Okay, party on! A large pitcher of grape kool-aid wildly and sloppily mixed while standing on the carpet might be in order.
Lynn so sound raise some very good points. Stars like me DO belong in New York! But the party is sounding increasingly more fun. You sound like the perfect party attendee, you will be there right?
@otter
Well, of course, I will be the one with an armload of grape kool-aid for us to mix wildly … since you personally invited me. 🙂 Thank you!
@Lynn
PS Be ready for purple moustaches!
Otter, I will surprise Otter Keeper when he lands at the airport in N.Y. If he didn’t bring you and Teddy we’ll make him go back home!
YAY! THanks so much, Glen. That sounds like a fantastic plan. I’ll make him wear an ‘I am Otter Keeper’ T-shirt for easy identification.
I’m so sad that I can’t come to your party because this is truly outrageous behavior on the part of Otter Keeper. Treacherous, in fact! May I suggest red popsicles for maximum carpet stainage? And those little plastic wrappers are nearly impossible to pick up without getting your fingers all sticky. I’ll bet Otter Keeper hates sticky fingers.
i wish i could be in NYC – i’d love to throw things at Otter Keeper! maybe a stuffed animal?
Can I come?
Of course you can Ormonde. Bring things that make a mess! If you can’t, I can provide a spare toy box to empty.
A stuffed toy would be a great projectile! Maybe throw several at the same time? Remember to shout loudly when you do this…
Red popsicle! That’s a great idea, we have lots in the freezer. Don’t worry too much that you can’t attend the party, I’ll dedicate a popsicle to you 🙂
I’d love to come to your party I can make a place really untidy, you can’t even see my table for stuff. I think Otter Keeper is being really mean, he probably realises that everyone would want to talk to you and he would be left just standing there! :-]
I think you could be right, Ley! This is Otter Keeper jealousy at it’s finest! I’m going to make even more mess than I originally planned, and Teddy and I would appreciate your help!
Fantastic! I’d love to come to your party. I bet it will be the bestest party ever! I just have the opposite problem you do. I live in America, so I have to figure out how to get to England. I hear, that takes lots of money! 🙁 But I think I have enough money to buy your new book! Hmmm… maybe instead of coming to your house, I’ll buy your new book, get some juice and make some toast, in yours and Teddy’s honor and celebrate at my house. Though it won’t be quite the same without you and Teddy and the other party goers. I’ll probably not make a big mess at my house either, because I don’t have an Otter Keeper to come and clean it all up. Looking forward to your new book! I hope your party is wonderfully untidy, the carpet looks like a rainbow afterward and Otter keeper learns his lesson and won’t leave you at home on the next book tour!
I can’t come to your house, Otter, because it is too far away. But I will have my own little party then in your honor. Party on, Mistress Mustelid!
I will bring a lot of little crayon bits and then we can turn the stove on and melt the little bits down and make our own kind of super crayons. It is messy and has the potential for danger. I will also bring tart cherry juice as it has incredible staining power as does blueberry. Should I bring napkins or just wipe our faces on the furniture when we are done?
All great ideas! I particularly like the bit about wiping our face on the furniture! I’m also thinking we could dress up in Otter Keeper’s clothes and roll around on the stains, but that’s just an idea for now
Oh Ok, Linda. We would love to have you there but we understand. Hang on… how do we know you’re not really going to see Otter Keeper!?
Hmmm, your party sounds really fun, Alexis. Maybe I should come to that instead? Then again people might be a little upset if they turn up at my party and I’m at yours? Parties are quite confusing sometimes.. I guess that’s why they have party planners. That way you know which party you are supposed to attend. I do hope you like our book! You must let us know…
Totally outrageous. You both should go with otter keeper. Degas & I would love to come to your party but we will not be in UK until June. Degas is good at shredding cushions and making snow and says you should do that at the party as it’s really hard to clean up.
Hi Sue! Degas sounds like he has all the right type of party skills. Maybe we could commission him to write up an informational leaflet for the party guests. Sad that you won’t be there though 🙁
This is outrageous! I’m sure that Otter Keeper will be crushed when he gets to America and discovers that you and Teddy are actually the celebrities everyone REALLY wants to meet!
I will be at your party and bringing some purple juice that stains SO badly that all the carpets and furniture will definitely need to be replaced, or stay purple forever!
Sounds like a plan! We haven’t got very many purple staining fluids currently, great idea! I’m sure Otter Keeper will regret not taking us, too. It won’t be any fun without us. Where will he be without my helpful advice!
Thank you. @otter