Otter Toast Consultancy

toast consultancy business card

The other day me and Teddy decided to start a business. We did this for two reasons. Firstly Otter Keeper just doesn’t give enough pocket money, which has been causing us a few problems recently. And secondly, well Teddy has actually forgotten what the second reason was (but it was a very good reason). Anyway Starting a business is really easy if you know what you want to do… We know exactly what we are going to do. We are setting up a Toast Consultancy company!

Otter Keeper said at this point we were getting a bit too excited,he warned us that starting a business is really quite hard. Apparently there are lots of things you need to think about, like tax and stuff like that. (Otter Keeper doesn’t mean to be a fun ruiner, it’s just the way he is!)

Anyway, As soon as Otter Keeper left for work this morning we got started on the business. We began by thinking about tax for a bit (like Otter Keeper told us to). We weren’t really sure what tax was but we definitely thought about it, and for a long time too. This got the business off to a great start!

our new offices

Next we had to build our office. This would be hard for some people but me and Teddy are experts at this kind of thing. We did however run into a little trouble with our comms system. The problem is we only have one phone in the house and this would naturally now have to be commandeered to be our new business line.

This was unfortunate, but Teddy says he doesn’t mind telling any of Otter Keeper’s friends that phone up that if they don’t have a toast query could they please write Otter Keeper a letter and communicate in this fashion from now on. I said this could be a bit rude but Teddy insists it’s just business. He’s quite a ruthless business bear. If he continues like this I will have to put him under the sofa pillow again to calm him down.

Me and Teddy understand better than most how sad it can be when toasting goes wrong.Our business plan is to make sure that if someone is having trouble cooking toast correctly that they have access to the help they need. So we are offering two packages.

  • Package 1 – Basic toasting support (10p per month) Includes access to our telephone helpline and our weekly handmade newsletter (full colour crayon)
  • Package 2 -Toasting plus (15p per month) Includes the above but Teddy is also available for 24 hour emergency call outs (I would go but I might be busy – Teddy has more free time than me)

Additionally we also have a counselling service to help people deal with things when toasting goes wrong (like burnt toast) we help them come to terms with the fact that burnt toast does happen . A special technique we have is to explain that some people actually like burnt toast! (yes that is true!).
We’ve been practising on Giraffe – he saw Otter Keeper burn toast last week and he’s not been the same since. We’re making progress though!

counciling a friend on toast

Anyway I should go – Teddy needs more training before his first call out and hopefully any time now the first customer will ring Otter Keeper said he would tell some of his friends at his work about our business and we’ve also put a little poster in the downstairs window. With all that marketing It wont be long now before someone calls, and when they do me and Teddy will be ready because we really are very very good at running a business.