Summer Reading Instructions

July 1st, 2014

It’s nice weather at the moment, so Teddy and I have been spending a lot of time in the garden reading. I like to be helpful, so I thought it would be a be a good idea to make this chart explaining how to get the most from your garden reading experience. I was going to write a story to explain things, but I have to go back to reading….

Otter Summer Reading Instructions

The Weekend Jar

June 17th, 2014

I don’t know who invented weeks, but they didn’t do a very good job. A normal week has five days where Otter Keeper goes to work, and only two days for him to spend time with me. This is obviously unfair and it’s been bothering me and Teddy for some time. This Sunday we finally managed to get Otter Keeper to sit down and discuss the problem with us.

The meeting got off to a bad start. It turns out that although Otter Keeper is in charge of most things, he is not in any control whatsoever of how long the weekend lasts. I was about to cancel the meeting, when he said he had an idea: he suggested Teddy and I make a weekend jar!

 

Otter Weekend Jar

Otter Keeper said we needed to take an empty jar from the kitchen and fill it with things that remind us of the weekend. This way, when we feel a little sad during the week we will still have a little bit of the weekend in a jar to make us happy. This was a fantastic idea, and we filled our weekend jar with the following happy weekend things:

 

  • A photo of Otter Keeper (The real Otter Keeper didn’t want to be put in the jar, and he wouldn’t fit anyway).
  • A leaf from the park (Otter Keeper takes us to the park every weekend).
  • The little cartoon bit from Otter Keeper’s Sunday paper.
  • A bit of toast (Otter Keeper didn’t want this to go in, and I had to point out that I was technically in charge of the weekend Jar. Otter Keeper said more things after this but they were boring and I put the toast in anyway.)

 

By the time we were finished it was time to go to bed, but I didn’t mind. I was actually looking forward to Monday, and that had never happened before!

Sadly, the next morning things didn’t go to plan. Otter Keeper left for work as usual and it still felt very much like a normal Monday. We tried spending time with the weekend jar, but it really didn’t seem to help very much. I left Teddy sitting with the jar for 38.5 minutes and he said he still felt exactly the same! We then tried hugging the jar, talking to it and even rolled it around on the floor, but nothing worked. Our weekend jar was broken and it was very disappointing.

When Otter Keeper got home I explained that the weekend jar needed his urgent attention, but he said he was busy. I realised the only option was to fix it myself. Luckily I’m very good at fixing things, and I made a few modifications later that evening.

Weekend Jar Modifications

Today is Tuesday, and the weekend jar is working much better now! This is because of two very clever Otter™ upgrades. Firstly, the weekend jar now contains Otter Keeper’s car keys. Secondly, it is buried at the bottom of the garden.

I’m pleased to report that it is now lunchtime and Otter Keeper is still at home! He’s spending a lot of time hunting around the house, being grumpy or talking to people on the phone, but he is technically spending time with us. I asked Teddy if he thought it felt like a Saturday, and he said it definitely did.

The only problem is that I have a strange feeling that this could be one of those days when I suddenly get into a lot of trouble when I’m not expecting it. As a precautionary measure I have left Giraffe outside next to where we buried the weekend jar. I also said he could look after the spade for the rest of the day.

Naughty Giraffe

 

 

One final thing! Otter Keeper says I shouldn’t pester people to buy my book, but seeing as it looks like I might get into trouble today anyway, I’m just going to say: Please, PLEASE buy a copy (or 10) of my book. Otter Keeper says if we sell enough books he will be allowed to make more. And we all want that!

‘I Am Otter’ Is available to buy in places such as: Books Of Wonder (who have signed copies), IndieboundAmazonBarnes&NobleBooksAMillionIf it’s not in your local book shop, please throw (soft-ish) things at the staff and demand it. 

Party Directions!

April 16th, 2014

Party Directions

Sorry everyone, Teddy forgot to include directions to the party in yesterday’s story! This was an oversight on his behalf and he wants to apologise to everyone. He was in charge of directions. I wasn’t. My only crime was to trust Teddy.

I’ve explained to him that It’s important to know where a party is, so that you know where to go. You don’t want to end up in the wrong place, especially when you’ve been looking forward to a really fun party.

Luckily I’ve made this useful map using crayons. Make sure you print it out before you leave, I’m not supposed to pick up the house phone so I won’t be able to provide additional directional assistance on the big day. If you look carefully at the map, our party can be found on the right, marked in red crayon.

See you all soon!
Otter + Teddy
(Official party organisers)