My Otter Camera
The best thing ever has happened: Otter Keeper bought me my very own camera! apparently it’s an award for good behaviour recently. I thought that was a little odd because I’m always well behaved. Oh well, who cares, I have a camera!
The new camera arrived in the post this morning and It’s already been so much fun! I’ve taken lots of photos and Otter Keeper says I’m really good at it! I’ve put my photos up here so you can see for yourself.
This is my first set of photos. I was a bit excited at first so these pictures are not that great – but otter keeper says I need to practice if I want to become a professional Otter photographer (which I definitely do!)
Sadly , shortly after my first set of photos had been taken, Otter Keeper had to go to work. He said I should leave the camera alone until he got home. I tried this for a while but I couldn’t do it because I really, REALLY wanted to be a Professional by the time Otter keeper got home. The thing is, Otter Keeper says that professionals actually earn money from their photos! With my low rate of pocket money, I could really do with the extra income.
After taking some very good pictures of me I realised I could also use the camera for top secret Kate (the nasty next door neighbour) surveillance. I took a brilliant picture of her garden (it’s not actually that good because I had to rush – because Giraffe said he heard her coming). Anyway, I really love my camera, it’s good for so many things.
This is my last set of photos. I went to do some kitchen photography and then something a bit annoying happened: Jam got on the camera? I thought about what to do for a while and then had the brilliant idea of washing the camera in the bath. It made a few strange noises (bath time is exciting after all) and now the camera is sparkly clean. Otter keeper will probably be pleased I’m looking after it so well, because he said it was very expensive.
Note: (For some reason the photos I have taken since the bath have been coming out a little black and strange. I’ve worked out that this is because I’m not quite a professional yet. So I’m waiting till otter keeper comes home to ask him for tips – he always knows what to do).
Yay for otterphotos!
I am sure Otter Keeper will understand perfectly well what has happened to your camera and can fix it for you so you can still be a professional Otter Photographer. 🙂
hahahaha, I love it! Otter takes better pictures than my mom does!
uh-oh…maybe Otter Keeper should have given you better instructions.
You took some nice pictures 😀
Like “neverwhere” (above), i’m sure that Otter kKeeper will fix the camera for you 🙂
Otter, those undewater-bubble pics are so artistic!
🙂
aww why thankyou so much, I thought so too …. i’m such a professional !
yes I think he will …. if it’s even broken at all . I think it may just be tired. I get tired when i do lots of stuff in a day – and I think cameras may be the same ?
yes I think so … it’s only fair. He should really have taken the day offf work for a camera course ..
hehe really ? well when i’m a professional otter photographer ( which hopefully will be sometime next week) i can give her lessons if you like ?
Otter, your photos are lovely – it does make up for the booster seat, eh? My grandfather took photos and did shows and things – I used to have to sit for him under really hot lights (in Fresno – sigh!) and pretend to be happy or sad. But then he would give me the ribbon if his photo of me won a prize.
He never gave me a camera though (I had jam issues too). What a great gift. Otter Keeper is rather nice.
i really REALY love you otter!!!
i did that once with my camera otter ..but now i’m a professional
and you will be even better!!!
We can only believe that this does not bode well for your future photographic career. And we would like to take this opportunity to state unequivocably that we were nowhere near your kitchen, the bath or the camera should blame need to be assigned.
Dude, you are toast.
Love, Dozer, Dottie and Cooper
You may be right and camera is perhaps just tired : it needs just to eat some coffee instead of jam to make more lively pictures even under water !
That’s my first intuition : you’ll hear from me later !
Lots of love
Louloute
Aww, otter! Those photos are amazing XD I think you should ask Otter keeper to create a photo gallery for you. You’ll become a professional in no time 😀
Hi Otter,
I’m really sorry for your camera but I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding between you both : the problems with things humans produce for themselves is that they don’t imagine that they could be used by someone else like us who have different needs. It’s a pity ! So we must do with these products the same they try to do with us : we must accustom them to us and educate them. (I don’t really like that word because it ends with “Kate” but I don’t find another one). You must try to communicate ( twice “Kate” !!! and you wonder why so many things fail in relationship between humans, humans and things, things and us) with your camera so that it will do what you expect it to. That’s the real training !
First you must get to know what it likes to eat and to drink and maybe you must ask it whether it’s a male or a female : I’m a bit puzzled because in French it’s “UN appareil-photo” (male!) but “UNE caméra” (female) but the main problem seems to me that obviously (HE, SHE) doesn’t like water because (HE, SHE) isn’t an otter nor an otter-camera or perhaps it didn’t get used enough to water. Of course, I’m sure it’s not so serious what happened to (HIM, HER) because it’s obvious that (HE, SHE) is still alive : the little bubbles on the last pictures show that (HE, SHE) still breathes. You must react very quickly though, because (HE, SHE) probably swallowed too much water: (HE, SHE) can’t swim and forgot to shut (HIS, HER) mouth. You must practice mouth to mouth – the mouth is the slot where pictures come out – and give (HIM, HER) little pokes till (HE, SHE) spits water out. I’m sure it will help and camera will be in best shape when Otterkeeper comes back.
Maybe it would be necessary to give her a little cup of coffee or what in French is called a “remontant” (something that cheers you up after a big emotion or after you felt a bit humid and cold). It’s a little glass of strong alcohol. I’m sure thereafter camera will dance with you (for that reason it would be better camera would be a male!) and you’ll get perfectly harmonical pictures.
You’re indeed a professional yet because being a professional depends less on pictures than on titles (Keeper said that) which must be attractive. I worked it out and I’m now able to propose you the following ones : you remember I’m a romantical and poetical otter but I’m also very good in marketing and I’m sure I can help you earn some money, being your agent.
1st pic: Enigma 1: Man, half-sided : perhaps Otterkeeper ?
2nd pic: Sewed object :Still-life with unknown bear
3rd pic : I’m Otter and I love coffee
4th pic : Selfportrait (flou artistique)
5th pic : Enigma 2 : landscape aperçu : Where is Kates cat ? (alliterations are very poetical and people love that, trust me !)
6th pic : Enigma 3 : Dancing shape : perhaps Otter ?
Series are very good for selling because art collectioneers are incited to buy more than one picture. And you began quite hopefully with the jam. Your pictures are very suggestive and your interest is to decline series, you know. It seems to me that you used strawberry or raspberry jam and you must keep on with other tastes and colours : blueberry for blue pics, apricot or marmelade for orange ones, honey for yellow ones and green tomato for green ones and, of course, I almost forgot Nutella for the brown. Lots of artist use food for their colours and you’re a great artist to share your inspirational sources with camera. It gives them a natural touch and you could call your pictures : “Impression in red : strawberry addiction” and so on. Keeper says that if you use bio ingredients you must mention it because doing this, you can get a better price for your pictures. Keeper says also you’re really in the British tradition because there is someone who paints quite like you make photos and he is called Turner. Your Keeper surely knows him. However you can name your photo : Hommage to Turner by Otter, thats sounds very professional and Keeper says there are lots of modern artists making mono… (it’s too difficult ! Keeper says sometimes I’m pedant but don’t ask me why !!! She uses such a strange vocabulary sometimes and explains it too quickly. It’s a pity, it seemed such a super word for scrabble – that’s probably the reason why she said she wouldn’t repeat it thousand times) pictures, especially squares in black. So, maybe, you can simply name it : “Hommage to squares in black”. Clever people like keepers would understand and that’s the most important because only clever people are supposed to buy your works. So, don’t be sad if no one does it. This only means that there are no clever people for the moment !!!
You just need to refine your marketing strategy as I showed you and it would perhaps be useful to adopt an artistic name so that nobody knows you’re an otter. It’s a bit frustrating but it creates a mistery and humans love enigmas. Why don’t you choose O*…instead of the star you could put a little paw or a drop of water (“eau” pronounced “o” signifies “water” in French). It would be a very poetical name to be called “O* of Islewater”, don’t you think so ?
I never tried to take pictures because Keeper has an old camera she hides in a drawer she shuts with a key and I’m sure I wouldn’t be as good as you are. I’m more interested in underwater investigations and in pipes since I lost one of my pebbles in that of our bath tub and saw a TV report about divers of the water company exploring canalisation under Paris with a video cam to find out whether there are some lacks. I asked Keeper to buy me a yellow bow with a torch lamp on it and wellies like yours to help workmen under water but she just shrugged. I tried to phone the water company to get hired but the phone just whistled in a langage I didn’t understand. I whistled back but the phone didn’t understand neither. I decided to join the main pipe from our bath tub to show workmen how skilled and useful I could be but I got stuck with my back paws in the pipe and when Keeper found me after she looked around the whole flat, she had to pull me off by the tail and clean my fur. She didn’t even shout because I was really scared. I don’t know how long I was emprisoned like that, and without torch lamps, pipes are very dark and they smell desperatly bad. I was so happy when Keeper found me and freed me without saying a word. I just felt how serious the situation was and, as she bought me a new pebble next day, I promised that I wouldn’t try again to explore pipes because I’m too scared to get lost and not to see her again although I sometimes dream I swim to the sea using the pipes for a great underwater exploration – and perhaps to come and visit you. Keeper says there are gigantic pipes between France and Britain and there are trains and cars travelling through. I can’t imagine that but if Keeper says it, it must be so !
It’s almost 3 o’clock in the morning so it’s your birthday since almost 3 hours : Congratulations !!! Have a wonderful day with Keeper and friends and don’t forget to begin this day with some coffee beans!
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Louloute keeperhelped !
Hi Otter i like your photo’s hope you had a nice Birthday
I think this one is my favorite so far. How inventive to draw the pics Otter took. Nice touch.
In your defense, you *were* left unsupervised…
Otter Keeper should have known better than to leave the camera home alone with you! Stupid humans!
I dropped my camera in the sea once when I was climbing along a cliff in the Isle of Man. Problem was the camera was still around my neck so I got very wet as well. Luckily the camera kept working for the rest of the fieldwork before rusting solid. It was an old fashioned one – before the digital cameras came along.