The Hoover

Last week Me and Teddy found out that hoovers are actually the worst thing EVER!
A hoover is a bit like a pet. Otter Keeper will take it for a walk around the house once or twice a week. There’s nothing wrong with this, me and teddy have discussed it and we think it’s good that Otter Keeper has hobbies. However the hoover really doesn’t appreciate Otter Keeper and it makes a REALLY loud whining noise that for some reason he puts up with! This is really unfair because if me and Teddy made that amount of noise (like when we do band practice) we would definitely get in trouble.

The hoover had been getting on our nerves more than ever recently and the last straw came when Otter Keeper said he had his friend coming round for tea. For some reason this meant spending even more time with the hoover and taking it for extra long walks around the house (maybe he was worried the hoover would feel left out when his friend arrived as it wouldn’t get much attention?).Teddy said he’d had enough of the hoover and something must be done – I agreed.

teddy attack We decided to approach the hoover and have a serious talk about its future. Teddy (who is good at this type of thing) went first but before we knew what was happening he was attacked! The Hoover had tried to gain an advantage and attacked Teddy when he was least expecting it. There was no excuse for this and it was most distressing for him, he was even more quiet than usual for the rest of the day. Otter Keeper wouldn’t take the attack seriously and this made things worse, so we retreated to a temporary Otter strategical outpost to try to come up with a plan. Even though he was still very shocked Teddy came up with a very good one.
So we wrote the hoover a note and left it outside its house (the cupboard under the stairs). We demanded that it made an official apology for the unprovoked attack on Teddy and immediately withdrew its services to Otter Keeper. The note also suggested it do the noble thing and put itself outside to be collected by the bin men. The note was delivered and everything was in place. If we hadn’t heard from the hoover by the time Teletubbies had finished then a state of war would exist between us. I regret to tell you … me and Teddy heard nothing. the stand off
self defence So after Teletubbies had finished we embarked on the first offensive. It was a very clever offensive as it involved us pouncing just as the hoover was in its most vulnerable position. We were expecting a hard battle, but the hoover must have known deep down it had gone too far as it put up little resistance. Me and Teddy couldn’t believe it, we had won the war already, victory was ours and for a few moments everything was great. It was shortly after this that I got into lots of trouble.

Apparently hoovers are VERY expensive and VERY important and you should NEVER NEVER EVER push them down the stairs. It appeared Teddy had misjudged the situation and the hoover was more of a valued friend to Otter Keeper than we had accounted for. We tried to suggest he replaced the hoover with a kitten as a pet instead but Otter Keeper said this was not the same thing at all? he said you couldn’t clean the house with a kitten. Teddy cleverly pointed out that you might be able to if it were a nice kitten and you asked it politely. Otter Keeper didn’t agree and I advised Teddy to keep quiet, we were in lots of trouble.

Things were still a little sad the next day because me and Teddy were still in trouble. But then Otter Keeper came home with a new hoover. Me and Teddy were annoyed but tried to make an effort to be friends… however we quickly realised that this hoover was different. This hoover had an inbuilt Otter riding facility – and as Teddy pointed out, this changed everything.

Teddy now admits he was too harsh with judging the hoover and Otter Keeper is so pleased we’re all getting on that I don’t think we’re even in trouble any more! I now know that not all hoovers are bad and some are actually really brilliant – which is great news. (I’d still quite like a kitten though) Teddy said maybe he could ride around on the new kitten whilst I go on the hoover. I told Teddy to stop being so stupid – everyone knows that kittens are very different from hoovers.

me on the new hoover

If you want to leave me a comment (and please do because otters love comments – Keeper reads them to me and it makes me happy) about this story please go here:



  1. ikea September 2, 2010 at 5:58 am

    wohoo! gr8 story, u can tell it to the otter keeper!

  2. Dot Wonder September 2, 2010 at 6:04 am

    i love the otter stories and the wonderful drawers. absolutely BRILLIANT!

  3. Clare September 2, 2010 at 6:19 am

    Another brilliant story! Enjoy the new hoover! ☺

  4. Maria September 2, 2010 at 7:38 am

    I am happy that you and the new hoover are getting along well. I do believe some hoovers can be mean, while others are nice. I I’m glad you got rid of the mean one!!!

  5. Kitsune September 2, 2010 at 7:52 am

    I went for the kitty!

    MY hoover is kind of lonely now since it scares my cat and we use other things to clean the house. Everyone won, uh?

  6. Grace September 2, 2010 at 7:56 am

    Now what otter should have gotten was a cleaning device called a “Roomba” – that would be the most fun of all!

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  8. Dozer and Cooper September 2, 2010 at 8:07 am

    Thank you for the warning! We had no idea that Hoovers were so dangerous. Fortunately we live in a one-story house in a small lumber town in Oregon – Hoovers rarely mass here and we think we can take one on, maybe two with success. I like to bark insanely when the Hoover is fired up and Cooper just ignores it. We are not sure what sort of service a Hoover provides but we are going to lock it in the pantry and see if Mum misses it.

    Love, Dozer

  9. Paul September 2, 2010 at 11:16 am

    I can honestly say that I don’t think i have ever seen an otter that looked quite as grumpy as Otter does in the ‘Stand off’ picture. I’m surprised that naughty hoover wasn’t quaking on its castors!!

  10. Catherine+ Ferret September 3, 2010 at 1:45 am

    Hello Otter! and Teddy-what a grand story -a perfect way to start my day! My favorite way ! I guess your story had a happy ending! Otter gets to ride on the new Hoover–although I am with you — a kitten is MUCH better idea for all kinds of reasons! But imagine if Hoover had completely inhaled Teddy–the horror! After all he went thru when he went missing–we’re talking permanent Post Traumatic Teddy Damage!! AARGH!! He never would have recovered–and Otter would have been so terribly sad–possibly to the point of no further Otter Stories–all due to the Evil Hoover! The thought of it gives Ferret and I the chills! In our home, Hoover is kept on the back porch stairs–out of the elements yet far out of Ferret range–so there is NO CHANCE of an inhalation tragedy. The noise not only terrifies ferret but I am sure it hurts his tiny ears ( it doesn’t do much for mine either when the housemate walks Hoover around the house!) All is well now with Otter and Teddy–and we couldn’t be happier for you ! I suggest that from now on Keeper ONLY utilize Hoover when it is raining–that way Otter + Teddy will be outside in their rain box! I still think you should have a kitten –as long as you wont put all your attention on New Kitty and tend to ignore Teddy–he is so quiet you wont know if his feelings are hurt–thus making him more vulnerable to Hoover! We cant wait to hear about your trip to London and the Zoo–that will be the next best Otter Field Trip Story Ever! Yah! I do hope Keeper gives in and comes home with a kitten for you an Teddy! Happy Friday –and a wonderful weekend –Otters’ favorite time!! to you and Teddy + Keeper too. with much love

  11. FishHawk September 3, 2010 at 2:09 am

    “I Am Otter” has been included in this weeks Sites To See. I hope you like the image I featured, and I hope this helps to attract many new visitors here.

  12. mlondon September 3, 2010 at 4:28 am

    Fabulous story, Otter. Are you going to write about the trip to the zoo? I would love to hear if you met other otters and what you thought of them.

  13. bill September 3, 2010 at 8:23 am

    GO OTTER !!!!

  14. bev otter September 3, 2010 at 9:56 am

    Hello Otter and Teddy,
    I work with lots of different Hoovers so I know they are all different – like people. Some will attack without warning! Thank goodness Teddy got away from the mean one and that now otter keeper has come home with a friendly one.
    I love getting your stories and pictures. XX

  15. Jack The Cat September 7, 2010 at 6:35 am

    Hi Otter! This was a great story like always!!!! I’m glad everything turned out great and the new hover is not being mean to you or teddy 🙂

  16. Lee County Clowder September 22, 2010 at 11:56 am

    That looks like a nice way to keep that hoover in line.

    Maybe the Otter Keeper could check out a Roomba. Not sure you would like riding it, but a lot of kitties seem to.

  17. i love otter October 10, 2010 at 6:13 am

    I hate the hoover too it always interupts telly programs or sucks up my favourite toys.

    PS-Otter keeper we know your cousin(? think shes your cousin) Portia and I bet Niko the kitten would clean the house if you gave her lots of cat food!
    Ellie (12) and Lottie (8)

  18. loutre from belgium February 2, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    wow what a great story, the vilain of this story is quite impressive. but at the end of the story we have a happy end. you are really a great otter

  19. Delbert July 10, 2011 at 9:50 am

    Otter, Teddy, and Keepr u r ALLLLL *awesum*! I wanna b ur freind!

    My bearfreind Pinky (I luuuurrrrvvv hir!) sez, “Bon jour, Otter! Hullo, Teddy! Comment sont vous, le Gardien?” (Pinky está de la en algún sitio en América Latin@ – ¡dónde ellos no dicen el español!, Soy de Argentina).

    I don’t rite so gud in inglish, but my hooman freinds r gunna gte me a speshul keyboarder so I can yoose my own paws and then I can yoose ImTranslator 2 sound smrt!

    May b we cud be freinds?

    Con respeto, abrazos y besos!

    Delbert (Fidelidad “Che” Guebearra)

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