I AM OTTER

Wow, me and Teddy just had one of the best weekends EVER! That’s because this weekend was Easter weekend. Easter weekend would probably get a very commendable 9.2 out of 10 (because it’s not as good as Otter birthdays or Christmas but clearly beats Pancake day)

On Easter day everyone gets chocolate eggs that are delivered by a rabbit. This is actually quite a strange thing to happen, but if a strange thing is also a good thing (and it gives you chocolate) – it’s usually best not to question why it happens because it gets confusing.

It’s like trying to understand magnets. No one can actually understand magnets (not even Otter Keeper) but you have to accept that they are great and just play with them anyway!

All the chocolate eggs are fantastic, however there is one very big (and getting even bigger) problem with Easter. And that is Teddy. You see Teddy loves chocolate and when me and Otter Keeper are not looking he eats it at an alarming rate!


(I know he does this because I can’t possibly have eaten so many of my Easter eggs so far all by myself)

Otter Keeper has gone back to work today leaving only me to protect the Easter eggs from Teddy.Due to Teddy’s insatiable desire for chocolate this is an extremely hard job for just one person (clearly Otter Keeper is not taking Teddy’s problem seriously)

INFACT Otter Keeper is under some silly delusion that it is not Teddy at all that is eating the eggs… he says it’s me and that I’m just blaming it on Teddy!!

Sometimes Otter Keeper is like a magnet too… it’s just impossible to understand why they do the things they do.

If you want to leave me a comment (and please do because otters love comments – Keeper reads them to me and it makes me happy) about this story please go here: www.iamotter.co.uk/story

This week started off with what me and Teddy thought was terrible news. But then it wasn’t actually terrible news after all. You see we were watching TV, when suddenly, out of the blue the man said that Prince William was going to marry KATE! This was particuarly hard to understand because me and Teddy think Prince William is fantastic! why on earth would he marry our horrible next door neighbour!?

We immediately found Otter Keeper (Teddy was in a terrible state of concern) and fortunately he explained that Prince William is actually getting married to a completely different Kate. This made everything ok, and meant that me and Teddy were still huge fans of the royal family.

This was a happy ending but the event did highlight the need for a chart to identify Kates. This way if you meet one you can tell if it’s dangerous or not. Otter Keeper says all Kates are nice (even our next door neighbour). Otter Keeper is very VERY silly.

However, I’ve forgiven him because upon our request he has made us this chart. It’s not designed exactly as we wanted it… but it could still be of some use to anyone who might meet a Kate. And from what me and Teddy have learnt this week… there are lots of Kates (it gets quite confusing!)

Also I should mention that this week our Toasting Support Hotline will also be a Kate Advice Line. Due to the seriousness of Kate identification this service will be free, and will continue to be so until the royal wedding is out of the way. This period will obviously be a very testing time for identifying Kates.